Taking the Piss (for Julian Assange)

written April 2011

If you thought we would take to the streets when they sent out the posse,
you had us wrong, mate (cobber); outlaws just don’t cut it with us
(even the great Robin had a hard time keeping it together in our neck of the woods,
and you know where he finished up, and I don’t mean in the History books….)
no, we’re yer English clods, sunshine;
not like those poor sods over there getting swatted like flies
(and there’s none of them on us, either, so don’t try it on, alright?)

wellyeh… give ‘em a round of applause –
(while we watch the daft buggers lie down and die, of course)
you’ve gotter hand it to them; they right mean it, though – I know wot yer saying;
still, wild’s in the blood with them lot, aint it?
whereas, us, we’re the steady type, like –
you know; ‘ready, steady………

………oh alright, wait a bit, mate…’

and whereas you, wussin about with that ‘hair’ (yeh, silverboy);
your whining about extera-dition’s getting right up our national nose,
beginning to grate on our nerves –
you’ve shot yer arrers well past our concentration threshold, poser;
castin yer aspersions on our famous justice systems –
you’re a disgrace, mate, a loser
(and yer all convicts over there, aint yer? the bloody lot of yers, aint yer?)
(or surfers)

let’s facebook it, mate;
look – you were never gonna make it here anyway;
we like our slebs pritty not hippy,
and, I do have to say, you are well getting on our tits, mate,

and, another thing –

we hate blond geezers who talk
blokes who keep mentioning ‘rights’ just to get attention

and inciting people to stuff –

look, mate,
we’re tough, we like our justice rough,
unless, well, you know, I s’pose, unless it’s us
(well we do live here)
and, there’s another thing –

we really can’t abide publicity seekers, see?

Especially when they’ve got the side
to court the Death Penalty

now that
just takes the piss, mate…

Lindi Carter

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